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Many people will be looking for love this Valentine's Day by giving and receiving cards, candy, flowers and jewelry. Those things are nice enough, but Wichita State University sociologist Ron Matson says a genuine and authentic relationship involves traits such as honesty, trust and integrity.
Announcer: With Valentine's Day approaching, perhaps the song comes to mind, "What the World Needs Now is Love." But when it comes to relationships, Wichita State University sociologist Ron Matson says we also could use a heavy dose of honesty, trust and integrity.
Matson: "Honesty is about truth telling, and I think a lot of us feel like we have to maybe lie or tell a little white lie to get out of a situation in our lives or in a moment. And yet, without honesty, of course we can't build some of the more important qualities that we think about in relationships like integrity and trust."
Announcer: Matson also says trust is more important than love, and it derives from knowing that another person would not purposely choose to hurt you. This is Joe Kleinsasser at Wichita State University.
Sound bite #1
Matson talks about respect versus love. The sound bite is 17 seconds and the outcue is "all people we meet."
Matson: "I think in important relationships one of the things that happens is that people trade off respect for love, and in my point of view, human beings have as a fundamental need and a right, is respect. And I think that's due us by all people we meet."
Sound bite #2
Matson talks about three important traits. The sound bite is 10 seconds and the outcue is "and integrity."
Matson: "The most important traits in relationships, regardless of whether romantic relationships or family, is honesty and trust and integrity."
Sound bite #3
Matson explains the importance of trust. The sound bite is 18 seconds and the outcue is "at least by choice."
Matson: "Trust is really more important than love, and it derives from knowing that another person would not consciously hurt you. And it's so fundamental in relationships to know that you can live your life day by day and count on that other person to never put you in a difficult moment, at least by choice."
Sound bite #4
Matson explains what integrity means. The sound bite is 20 seconds and the outcue is "relationship."
Matson: "Integrity is simply doing what you say you will do. If you make a commitment, you follow up and follow through with that commitment. So integrity is one of the things that I think is in short supply, but it's essential, because if people can't count on you and count on your word, then they're going to feel really, really bad in the relationship."
Sound bite #5
Matson talks about authenticity and being genuine in relationships. The sound bite is 21 seconds and the outcue is "to everyone you meet."
Matson: "I really like to talk about authenticity, about being genuine in relationships, and that means covering all those other traits that we've talked about. I just think that we have to learn to be the person we are. Strip away all the social roles, strip away the masculinity, the femininity, the boss, the employee, just be a real person. Be genuine and be authentic to everyone you meet."