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Shocker Women Listen Up!

Am I suppose to just forget about sex while I’m in college?

For a lot of us sex is a real part of life. We are no longer expected to keep our sexuality under wraps. Instead we are encouraged to talk about sex openly, which gives us the chance to learn. To make the best and the healthiest decisions possible talking about sex needs to happen -- especially with your sexual partner!

I don't usually drink, but when I’m with my friends I feel left out if I don't…

Some women are social butterflies, and others are more reserved or shy. However, when we go to a party most of us feel it’s easier to meet someone if we have a drink to loosen up. We justify why we need that drink, especially since alcohol helps us forget the things that make us forget the things that makes us nervous. Know your boundaries before you let your guard down.

Alcohol helps me loosen up, and feel more comfortable to talk and dance in a crowded place…

Alcohol may seem like a shortcut to getting things going in the right direction, but this is when we put ourselves at risk-- physically, and emotionally. Often we are looking for someone to push all the right buttons, and whether we choose to act on it or not there are still decisions to be made before things become complicated. Sex is guess work for everyone, and if not thought through, can get you into all kinds of trouble. If you have been drinking your ability to communicate suffers, and if your partner has been drinking, their ability to understand you will be lessened which leads to big danger.

You say you love me and I don't want to lose you over sex . . .

Sometimes things aren't what they seem. If someone seems really interested in you and then treats you different the next day it is a good possibility you will be very angry with yourself for falling for such an act. What a jerk -- it happens. There are good ones and there are bad ones, anyone can fall victim to getting hurt at some time.

I thought if I said “No”, I would come off as immature…

When the alcohol wears off things like self-esteem, reputation, guilt and uncertainty can still be present. Being flirty is fun, and we all like to do it, just make sure your boundaries are set ahead of time. If you don't know what your boundaries are how will anyone else know?

It’s my fault, I flirted first… Now I just want to forget about the rape and get on with my life…

Being a victim of date rape is really scary. Victims often feel violated and guilty, and constantly question what they could you have done differently. Statisitcs tell us that one in six of us will be a victim of forced sex from someone we know. It is a crime, it is a violation, it is devastating, and in almost every situation alcohol abuse is part of the scenario.
• Don't play the hit and miss game with one night stands, you are putting yourself at greater risk
• Never judge anyone’s character as being incapable of date-rape, even if you know their best friend
• Don't make assumptions
• Create a clear line of communication
• The most valuable weapon against unwanted sexual encounters is to eliminate grey areas
• Just say “NO”
• Let your “NO”, mean “NO”
• If you say “No” and alcohol is present you may be in a high-risk position

*Women let’s look out for each other’s safety this is important, especially if you see someone caught in a dangerous situation, or if alcohol is present. Please carry condoms, and use them before you get caught up in the heat of the moment that heat could be your worst enemy, or your death sentence.*


I heard “No”, but that doesn't mean they don't really want it . . .

When a partner says “NO”, they mean NO. Communicate limits clearly. Know what you are feeling and express yourself clearly.
Please remember that passivity might be misinterpreted as permission. Be direct, but do not pressure your partner into sex. Do not ignore a polite “No”. No means No. If you do not like the answer, LEAVE, instead of being aggressive to get the answer you want.

I get flirted with all of the time, but I don't know if it’s time for a sexual relationship…

Trust your intuition.
Am I being played? Two of my friends have already tapped that . . .
“NO”, means, NO!!!
We’ve been in a relationship since our freshmen year, that’s a total of 2 years with no sex!! I’m owed it for being patient at this point…
We are NEVER owed anything! If you don't like the way your sexual relation is going, communicate this with your partner, and if you need to, break it off.

Teases like to play hard to get, in order to keep their status, they just need a little convincing…

“NO”, means, NO!!!

My boys and I love college parties, it’s a great way to get free booze, and sex!!!

Avoid excessive use of alcohol and drugs. Alcohol and drugs interfere with clear thinking, effective communications and your ability to respond in your own best interest.

I saw someone slip a pill in that drink, but they’re not my friend so it’s not my problem…

It is your problem. It is just like being a witness to a car accident. It is up to you to tell the person, their friends, and a person of authority. If you don't, who will? And think of it this way, what if it was your sister, brother, girlfriend, or son? Wouldn't you want someone to tell?

Men, you want to leave with a life time of wonderful experiences, and a great education. Don't allow one mistake ruin your life.