Domestic Violence
Definition
Domestic Violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to establish power and control
over an intimate partner often leading to the threat or use of violence. Abuse is
any controlling, hurtful act, work, or gesture that injures another persons body or
emotions.
Types of Abuse
Emotional, Psychological, Mental Abuse
- Accuse you of having an affair
- Keeps you from family and friends
- Takes or destroys important papers
Verbal Abuse
- You are stupid, fat, ugly, etc.
- You can't do anything right
- You are an unfit parent
- Who would want you
Physical Abuse
- Hit, slap, pinch, strangle, kick
- Threaten to hurt you
- Throw objects at you
Sexual Abuse
- Force you to have sex-Rape
- Criticize your sexual performance
- Withhold sex and affection as a tool to manipulate your behavior
Power and Control Wheel
JEKYLL/HYDE: Extremely charming, caring and sensitive individuals on the surface.
Abusers often do not display their abusive behaviors for months or years into their
relationships and not at all in other areas of their lives.
JEALOUSY: Abusers use jealousy, masked with "It's because I love you/am afraid of
losing you" to control their partner's activities, isolating them from their support
systems. (Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where
she goes, limiting her outside involvement, using jealousy to justify actions)
INTIMIDATION: Abusers eventually show their volatile temper, throwing and breaking
things when angry. They persuade victims to rationalize and forgive by apologizing
profusely, making excuses for their behavior ("I was drunk"), and promising it was
the last time. (abusing pets, displaying weapons, making her afraid by using looks,
actions, and gestures)
EMOTIONAL ABUSE/BLAMING: Victims are constantly blamed for their partner's anger,
are put down and are made to feel worthless. Victims believe they don't deserve any
better and become trapped by a destroyed self-esteem. (calling her names, making her
think she's crazy, playing mind games, humiliating her, making her feel guilty)
ECONOMIC ABUSE: Abusers often control the money, make all household decisions, and
don't allow their partners to work. Male abusers can do this easily by using stereotypical
sex roles to justify their privilege. (Preventing her from getting or keeping a job,
making her ask for money, giving her an allowance, taking her money, not letting her
know about or have access to family income)
THREATS/USING CHILDREN: Abusers often threaten to hurt/kill their partner, commit
suicide, or take the children if they attempt to leave. (making her drop charges,
making her do illegal things, using the children to relay messages, using visitation
to harass her, making her feel guilty about the children.
For support, contact one of the following:
Kansas Crisis Hotline
1-888-END-ABUSE
(1-888-363-2287)
For support, call the domestic violence and/or sexual assault program nearest you
26. Wichita DV Catholic Charities Harbor House
316-263-6000
27. Wichita Domestic Violence Stepping Stone
316-265-1611
28. Wichita Area Sexual Assault Center
316-263-3002
29. Wichita Domestic Violence YWCA Women's Crisis Center
316-267-7233
the KANSAS CRISIS HOTLINE at: 1-888-END ABUSE (1-888-363-2287)
or the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE at: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).