Domestic Violence


Domestic Violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to establish power and control over an intimate partner often leading to the threat or use of violence. Abuse is any controlling, hurtful act, work, or gesture that injures another persons body or emotions.

Types of Abuse

Emotional, Psychological, Mental Abuse

  • Accuse you of having an affair
  • Keeps you from family and friends
  • Takes or destroys important papers

Verbal Abuse

  • You are stupid, fat, ugly, etc.
  • You can't do anything right
  • You are an unfit parent
  • Who would want you

Physical Abuse

  • Hit, slap, pinch, strangle, kick
  • Threaten to hurt you
  • Throw objects at you

Sexual Abuse

  • Force you to have sex-Rape
  • Criticize your sexual performance
  • Withhold sex and affection as a tool to manipulate your behavior

Power and Control Wheel

Graphic of the Power Control Wheel
JEKYLL/HYDE: Extremely charming, caring and sensitive individuals on the surface. Abusers often do not display their abusive behaviors for months or years into their relationships and not at all in other areas of their lives.

JEALOUSY: Abusers use jealousy, masked with "It's because I love you/am afraid of losing you" to control their partner's activities, isolating them from their support systems. (Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes, limiting her outside involvement, using jealousy to justify actions)

INTIMIDATION: Abusers eventually show their volatile temper, throwing and breaking things when angry. They persuade victims to rationalize and forgive by apologizing profusely, making excuses for their behavior ("I was drunk"), and promising it was the last time. (abusing pets, displaying weapons, making her afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures)

EMOTIONAL ABUSE/BLAMING: Victims are constantly blamed for their partner's anger, are put down and are made to feel worthless. Victims believe they don't deserve any better and become trapped by a destroyed self-esteem. (calling her names, making her think she's crazy, playing mind games, humiliating her, making her feel guilty)

ECONOMIC ABUSE: Abusers often control the money, make all household decisions, and don't allow their partners to work. Male abusers can do this easily by using stereotypical sex roles to justify their privilege. (Preventing her from getting or keeping a job, making her ask for money, giving her an allowance, taking her money, not letting her know about or have access to family income)

THREATS/USING CHILDREN: Abusers often threaten to hurt/kill their partner, commit suicide, or take the children if they attempt to leave. (making her drop charges, making her do illegal things, using the children to relay messages, using visitation to harass her, making her feel guilty about the children.

For support, contact one of the following:

Kansas Crisis Hotline

For support, call the domestic violence and/or sexual assault program nearest you
26. Wichita DV Catholic Charities Harbor House
27. Wichita Domestic Violence Stepping Stone
28. Wichita Area Sexual Assault Center
29. Wichita Domestic Violence YWCA Women's Crisis Center

the KANSAS CRISIS HOTLINE at: 1-888-END ABUSE (1-888-363-2287)